Twitterings

"Potentially throwing Brexit into disarray." Oxymorons! Get yer oxymorons 'ere! twitter.com/brexit/status/…
Watching Pence sit silently, like a frat boy watching his great-grandad rant aimlessly at the new landlords. Silent… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Both main parties are destroying the UK, turning a blind eye to Russian interference in Brexit & highly illegal sku… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@MechaPanda9K @frenchie_myriam Me too. But it started at my lower back.
Dear @realDonaldTrump. I am writing in my capacity as a real Nigerian prince (honest!). I have the sum of $48m (for… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Sounds like the senile old fart may have been smocking some weed or he's overdosed on all that Diet Cock. #Twat twitter.com/realdonaldtrum…
Dear @JunckerEU @theresa_may here! I'm using this guy's Twitter account as I lost my login deets & can't find a pe… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
When a bank is robbed, you don't tell the bank managers they can't have the money back because it was the will of t… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Just as he would be able to string a sentence together without shitting his false teeth across the floor, if it was… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
If you're going to trust someone, make sure you trust Dracula's mother (and simultaneously his sister, daughter and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
RT @benfrancis: Dear Points of View... Yours, Contumaciously Unyielding Winchester, EU P.S. Steve Brine is a #twat #BrexitShambles #Bollo…
Dear Points of View... Yours, Contumaciously Unyielding Winchester, EU P.S. Steve Brine is a #twattwitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@ida_skibenes Ignore him. He'll soon get tired of not getting the attention he so desires, go away and find someone else to flick bogeys at.
Someone smuggling four cheeseburgers under each man-boob. #FatOrangeManBabyHidesBurgersUnderTits twitter.com/funder/status/…
@funder Someone smuggling four cheeseburgers under each man-boob.
A political stunt, organised by Bannon and coordinated alongside wannabe Trump beta version 0.1, @BorisJohnson, to… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
And the fat orange baby trusts this moron, with no understanding of how basic digital media works, to be in charge… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Founder of a 3-legged race, for not-so-gifted, children with safety helmets, threatens to sue any Olympic athlete w… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Kellybolduc88 Don't worry, the headline says it all!
Are we absolutely sure it wasn't just to help the fat rapist out of bed in the morning...? m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/north-da…
Word on the grapevine is that he was lamenting the fact that he could have had been having sex four times in the sa… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@EricTrump @KellyannePolls Mungo awake. Mungo hypocritically trips on the warehouse full of daddy's abuse and rape… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Mungo awake. Mungo hypocritically trips on the warehouse full of daddy's abuse and rape allegations, sending them f… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
This warms the very cockles of my ♥️ and ♥️s the very warmth of my cockle. Ha! What a twatty result for such a grot… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@realDonaldTrump Seriously? Threatening to disembowel a potential witness to your high crimes via Twitter. Damn, you're a "dumb-ass"!
@realDonaldTrump How stupid and demented does a proven criminal have to be in order to consistently attack the inve… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
BREAKING: @Conservatives are stockpiling gruel to ensure their planned orphanage/workhouses are a success, followin… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@TimbaLimber @KTHopkins Don't take it personally, she's just a vacuous talent-void, whose only lamentable input on… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Ah...those heady, sticky, teenage days. hampshirechronicle.co.uk/news/17264659.…
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #ABTV #WATON
...and finally, to top off my new timber office, a roaring fire. What could possibly go wrong? Yours Jeanne d'Arc
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #ABTV #WATON
This worked far too well.
@KTHopkins Aw, bless. Precious princess no mates needs more attention.
Brexit: Facts vs Fear, with @stephenfry. Everything wrong with #Brexshit in just under 12 minutes. #BrexitShamblestwitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #ABTV #WATON
Hang on just one shave-that-labour-leader-and-he-becomes-that-pretend-vicar moment!! #VicarGate
When you suddenly realise that the alcoholic, racist, flying dog thing from Neverending Story has too much make-up… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@aev1609 When one dips their head in a ghostly candy floss machine. Kinda Scooby Doo-esque.
...as we await the news that the second set of Facebook fake news ads to go, after those from @vote_leave , are the… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
That tumbleweed moment when the media realises AirDropping pictures of any representative of the @GOP or… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@RudyGiuliani Dude - you've only got one job to do. Make bullshit statements about the investigation. Sort your fucking use of spaces out!
This kiss-arsery is like a jilted lover handing a bunch of broken flowers to their partner as they're kicked out in… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@funder When he's listening to someone taking Russian, he looks almost as confused as he does when he's listening t… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Nigel_Farage Shouldn't you be at home practising your "please don't put that thing up there" eyes in the mirror, f… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@DavidLammy @TeresaC123 Trust in politics? An oxymoronic statement that cannot be defined without the words Conserv… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Call us snowflakes, if you will; but we will derail #Brexshit just like the "wrong type of snow" caused havoc in '9… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@realDonaldTrump Hey, President Twat. You do realise Mr T doesn't actually stand for Mr Twat; as it most certainly… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Hey, President Twat. You do realise Mr T doesn't actually stand for Mr Twat; as it most certainly does in the case… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@theresa_may Dear @Theresa_May, Thank you for your letter, dated 24 Nov 2018. Unfortunately, upon printing, I not… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Dear @Theresa_May, Thank you for your letter, dated 24 Nov 2018. Unfortunately, upon printing, I noted it consist… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I've been subject to Teletubbies, Ninky Nonks, Tombliboos & Pontipines for a far greater portion of my adult life t… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

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