Twitterings

When I get riled about the rise of white supremacy, it’s sometimes heartening to look at @realDonaldTrump and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Imbecilic Twat on Imbecilic Twat: 'They call him Britain Imbecilic Twat'. @BorisJohnson @realDonaldTrump bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-…
Mother Nature has decided she's had enough. The incineration of the (u)K has now begun, as an unelected, criminally… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@RepMattGaetz Aw, bless! Gotta love it when a special wakes up in the morning and realises he hasn't crapped the be… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Tomorrow, to make America feel better for suffering so long with a demented gibbon flinging shit in the White House… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
The maggot has a go at the magnifying glass for making it look like a #twat theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/j…
Thank fuck that’s all sorted then... m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/justin-b…
Why she wasn't allowed to do it in the privacy of her own bathroom is beyond me. mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/w…
Well, that explains the inordinate amount of tissues he brought along! politico.com/magazine/story…
Trump & Brexit are two massive dog turds on different sides of the same street. Everyone is going about their busin… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
WARNING: FaceApp is developed in Russia. If you upload pictures of yourself, it will automatically enter you into n… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
If you saw any of the following drowning: · Nigel Farage · Piers Morgan · Donald Trump · Boris Johnson · Katie Hop… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@seanhannity I swear by Almighty God that the following will be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth: You're a cunt.
As much as I despise this vitriolic nonentity, I can't help but feel disappointed to read a headline like this; a h… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Just filmed my pets aimlessly strolling around the garden, after I fed them a bowl of Valium. Thought it would be f… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
It's time to take stock when the most monumental, mountainous, malingering, malodorous mound of manure on the plane… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
When you desperately want attention from @realDonaldTrump - cry like a huge pussy in the hope he'll give you a good… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Racism usually stems from the insecurities of one tribe measuring themselves up against the other; trying to dismis… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
That moment at university when you come downstairs after a heavy night of mental, drug-festooned, drunken debaucher… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Loving the fact that the twat who wrote this Tweet (and hence lifting the first traffic warden ever to the status o… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
When you're having a good time, spare a thought for those poor horror movie psychopaths, burned to death in that hi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
If you need a script in order to ensure you don't spout festering bile, like a gibbon shitting its own nutsack out… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
You can't spell "Brexit Party" without "Petulant bunch of moronic, cretinous, slow-witted thundercunts". Well, tech… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I find it amazing how the gut-wrenching emotions of a nuclear accident can make one miss crucifixions, skull-crushi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #PEOPLESVOTE
A picture that's going make you feel old. This is what Sloth and Data from The Goonies look like today.
That moment you ask yourself: "Why me?" & yourself replies: "Fuck. This is awkward. Why are you asking me? You rare… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Give me a "T": T! Give me a "R": R! Give me a "U": U! Give me a "M": M! Give me a "P": P! What does that spell? CUNT!
You know that sound a dog makes about five seconds before it's put down due to excessive flatulence? You know...tha… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Luckily, the morning's research was left ingrained in my mind and I was able to fix the mishap using the skills lea… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Having perused & ridiculed a number of pictures of girls incredibly sporting the weird craze of geometrically-impos… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I would suggest you leave that hovel of turpitude with your head held as high as walking on your hands will allow.… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Let's end this, once & for all. No bloodshed. No war. Left versus right. Democrat versus Republican. Liberal versus… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Awkwardly stumbling over the real answer "have Michael Gove don a tutu and trample on my swollen testicles in stile… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Hmm. I wonder if @RealJudgeMoore recognised God standing omnipotently in the room with him while he was fucking tho… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
That moment of red-faced shame when an entire country's social media backbone realises its next PM is going to be c… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Tonight I witnessed a fight between 5 stoners, arguing about who'd be less likely to crash, driving their camper va… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Not being blood relatives with their spouse. twitter.com/akkitwts/statu…
Hey, kids! Been offered drugs? Someone pushing you weed? Tempted to sniff some Charlie? Forget the tired old crap f… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
...er, I don't know...perhaps the thought of an apocryphal, bearded zombie, standing in the dark at the end of my b… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Quite a coincidence that each 'personality' that publically supports the far-right are about as relevant as a wet &… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Leonab @hantschronicle @hantsconnect Thanks for that - read too late, but noted for all the future attempts they make to hobble democracy!
My Bulgarian wife arrived at the polling station to be told she wasn't able to vote because, after successfully reg… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Our parents never knew how easy they had it. They only had our siblings to confuse our names with. The number of ti… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Oh no! Who's going to do...er...whatever she did so...um...however well she did it?! #UselessTwat theguardian.com/politics/2019/…
Get out and vote in the EU elections on Thursday, to stop the bemused, birdbrained and befuddled once again elevati… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
What I lack in acting skills and localised accent strengths, I make up for in back hair and aggressive liberal verb… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Does your casting call for an ailing, wretched, recalcitrant discontent looking to fill his spare hours - once repl… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
To all my filmmaking and/or director buddies out there: Are you in need of a fat, egg monster for your latest pro… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Some splendid birthday artwork from son the elder, with a questionable opinion on the genocidal tendencies of his R… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Fascinating how one's own temperament and arcane views can do a better job than the entire SFX team of The Lord of… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

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