Twitterings

Anyone else seen the lineup of 1 Ex-celebrity, 1 Criminal, 1 WhatTheFuck and 10 Unknowns Big Brother?
For fuck's sake. I took out TCP, now I'm left with a medicine cupboard full of antiseptic, not knowing what the bollocks to do with it.
"HONESTY WINS"? <tries to keep a straight face> <still trying> <ouch...it hurts> <trembling a bit> ... ... Baaaaaa… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@LA_Karma1 Thank you! All followed, excluding those who fought bravely, but lost (or temporarily had to hang up) th… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Grotesque nonentities like @KTHopkins & @piersmorgan strike me as nothing more than dormant STDs on the bloated anu… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@frenchie_myriam Compulsive Beer Consumption Disorder. It has it upsides.
I was told, "you can't call Trump a racist when you hate him so much - the same could be said about you!". For the… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@DixiDoodle Oh. Hang on. Our politics here - that's not a comedy sketch. That shit it real!
That guy who plays a clown-like, bumbling, simple and unaware child in a man's body, is offered lamentable support… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
#SpaceForce: because alien pussy can't grab itself!
@macfilipe I have the feeling most of his remaining supporters have all put their heads in the thickest rubber-wall… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
The squealing sounds of an overfed, rabid, pet warthog; as it shits itself and realises it's being loaded into the… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@acgrayling @Channel4News I think it's plain to see, from public domain information alone, that any criminal invest… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
The blathering bunion on Britain's burgeoning bollock, @BorisJohnson, isn't a racist. He doesn't have the fortitud… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
BREAKING NEWS: Major UK pharmaceutical companies are recalling a swathes of prescribed medication. If you are in an… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Dear (*Please fill in your deity, supreme being, mother nature or eternal darkness here*) What the hippo's bollock… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Listen up gay dudes! This pastor (@kevinpswanson - still in the closet, soon-to-be-outed) thinks you're starting wi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Why do I go on about the putrefaction that is @realDonaldTrump, when I'm not in the USA? Well, if you're in a share… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I'm fairly certain when a black nylon weave simultaneously exists in the same room as a blonde nylon weave, time an… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
If you're gay: I'm not gay, but I stand beside you. If you're black: I'm not black, but I stand beside you. If you'… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Leisa_Mae Take your time...
In the following thread, I painstakingly detail the results of the research that I have made, looking into the posi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
A thought to get stoned on: If @maddow did decapitate @realDonaldTrump, the assumption would be that bacteria would… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Arron_banks When master criminals come out of the closet and reveal they're nothing more than a five year old twat.
We have been perfectly clear that we need to crash out of the EU, destroy lives, instill a fear of foreigners, corr… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
For those fortunate enough not to understand Trumpanzee and @realDonaldTrump's last Tweet, I ran it through Google… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Arron_banks Your cummerbund has escaped north of your paunch and moobs, mate! May want to cut back on those beluga blinis a little.
When the call to arms comes to take on the #Brextremists, ensure your armoury is stocked up with pineapple rings, m… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Yep. When pushing someone over a cliff, do it softly. Makes all the difference. #Brexshit #ToriesOut amp.theguardian.com/business/2018/…
Right-wingers. The time's come for you to get back in your box. Return to your darkened cellars & masturbatories. Y… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Man threatening to push entire platform of passengers onto rails, tells train that driving through the station may… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
"It’s our policy to respect the result of the referendum." @jeremycorbyn Pretty much like saying "It's our policy… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Today, I proclaim it #HugANazi day. There's nothing better for the soul than warmly embracing a right-winger and le… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
#PiersMorgan: To get as much attention as possible (as I have no discernable talent other than standing on my Murdo… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Sorry America. There's always that party when someone has to stand in the corner & show everyone else that their da… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@stlajn1 It would be the honourable thing to do. As a child of either...what would you prefer?!
Upon hearing the news that @DonaldJTrumpJr and @kimguilfoyle are to wed, I figured now was a good time to repost a… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Ha ha ha! "Brexit War cry"! Everyone has had one of those farts that, upon initial uptake, feels like a blunderbuss… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Incredible. Don't be alarmed about the plastic sheeting on all the furniture, says the Mafia boss, as you sit in th… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
When your cuntishness levels are at maximum cuntocity, as per cunt @Jim_Jordan, why the cunt shouldn't you angle fo… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Being a supporter of the EU doesn't mean I'm a traitor to Britain. If you classify me as a traitor, it's merely to… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@patel4witham @darrengrimes_ Why don't you help him funnel some illegal funds into his campaign? Worked last time.
@realDonaldTrump @AprilDRyan Ha! I bet you tell people you're 239 pounds and that it's 6 inches too. #Twat
"Just remember: What you're seeing and what you're reading is not what's happening." Donald Trump, 2018 "That Dona… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@realDonaldTrump The lawyer of a feckless cunt. A pretty straightforward answer, really.
Vandalism is wrong in any scenario. I can't support it in any circumstance, whoever the perpetrator or victim of th… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

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