Twitterings

Over-45s? I'm considered to be in Gammonland apparently! (A cheaper subsidiary of Poundland, where you can buy anyt… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Every time I see one of these pointless cries for help from the Cuntservatives, I clear my cookies and refresh the… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
He obviously didn't get the Tory leaflet, advertising to conservative ministers the blow-out sale on clover-shaped,… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
The worst thing about the re-emergence of the far-right from the anus of history isn't the cacophony of criminals t… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
It has emerged that the corporation who worded, published then Tweeted this article is also a continual, spouting a… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
M'Lud, I may or not have buried them under the patio, but I would like to suggest this is not a matter for judges.… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
That day, when irony & hypocrisy got up out of their beds, casually strolled over to @senatemajldr, grabbed him by… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Is the End of Days going to be marked, in a Mad Max apocalyptic world, by a semi-naked fight between @JuliaHB1 and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Those so desperate to change who I am: you don't have the intellect, necessary psychological, philosophical, lingui… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Dude. It's plainly obvious that even your wig manufacturer doesn't have a clue who YOU are; otherwise they wouldn't… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I bet the yeti scrotum that is Johnson didn't expect the ACTUAL Hulk to call him out for being a twat. #HulkSmash twitter.com/markruffalo/st…
You know that machine that Jeff Goldblum went through in The Fly? Do you reckon Penfold from Danger Mouse did the s… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I've just gone through the papers being offered for free reading in my local. The Express, The Daily Mail and The S… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Cunt accuses a couple of cunts of being a couple of cunts. News-worthy! theguardian.com/politics/2019/…
I always impress upon my children the importance of paying careful attention during English lessons at school. If… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
...and there I was, thinking all right-wing pundits were abysmally uneducated, stupefyingly cretinous and unashamed… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
It's a sorry state of affairs for the whole fucking planet when investigative journalism seems to be the only thing… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Irretrievably politicised, radicalised and partisan @bernardjenkin suggests that John #Bercow is irretrievably poli… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Who would you rather have living next door to you:
@Conservatives Er...you've not been keeping up with the neverending news about massive Tory spending on inconsequen… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@EmmaLewellBuck @PaulBrandITV @itvnews Yikes. Not a good look; wanting to side with the Nazis because the other te… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@BorisJohnson A quick creative suggestion. Don't take offence, but have you considered delivering your ludicrous an… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
OPPORTUNITY: Unspecified business, situated somewhere between 9 & 11 Downing Street, urgently requires IT expert wi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Take a mallet and hit your testicles repeatedly, until you hear one or both split and don't ask such stupid questio… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Take her age when you met her and add it to the age she is now. Subtract the age she was when she lost her virgini… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I'm not one for stupid, life-hack formulae, bit this is resoundingly accurate with everyone I've tried it with. Not… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Note to wannabe dictators: When you try to look like a "man of the people" in a photoshoot, ensure your researcher… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Conservatives @BorisJohnson Yeah. Look how that’s going for you. #twats
@Conservatives @KFC_UKI Yeah, but the cock that heads your NeoUKIP party, eh!
Come on, people! Leave the poor guy alone. Who here can HONESTLY admit they've never, at least once, had to sit for… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
BREAKING: Some twat called another twat a twat and did so with a little twattish sexism attached to the labelling o… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
"Do you feel that your angry, anti-Brexit/Trump posts may alienate those sharing a different political view?" "I'm… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I'm starting to think this Grim Reaper chap is a bit of a dick who majorly fucked up his audition and pissed his pa… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
... Freddie Mercury: Dead at 45 George Michael: Dead at 53 Kurt Cobain: Dead at 27 Bob Marley: Dead at 36 Jim Morri… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Robert Mugabe: Dead at 95 Joseph Stalin: Dead at 74 Kim Jong-il: Dead at 70 Idi Amin: Dead at 78 Pol Pot: Dead at 7… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #PEOPLESVOTE
"Draw me like one of your French girls..." #JacobReesSmug #Twat
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #PEOPLESVOTE
Let's just be honest. An entire nation is being burned at the stake because this guy can't get an erection.
Tory rebels, I'll lay this out for you: 1) vote with the government, we deselect you & you'll live your days out i… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Is it just me, or does this headline read like @sajidjavid spices things up in the bedroom with @BorisJohnson by te… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
...or some selfie; shot from an über-elevated height and smoothed so much that one can't distinguish it from a pict… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
...every cocktail they ever drink (as if they'd just emerged from the bollocking prohibition era)...
...that their desperate cries are kinda filling up my Facebook feed and I wished they'd post more pictures of their… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I'll be sure to remind them, next time I hear them screaming about their children locked in the house that was set… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Far too many people say I rant unnecessarily about politics...
Benedict Francis #Resist #FBR #FBPE #PEOPLESVOTE
Decided to shave one side of my balls and let the other run wild. What do you think?
(As you know, us lefties are really shit when it comes to violence and mindless aggression...unless you count catti… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
(If any of my Nazi friends are reading this - and I understand I have a few, reading your recent posts - is there a… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
That's it. I've had enough. I'm going out on to the Friday night streets to fuck-up a random Nazi!
Can you imagine. Some twat believing it beyond the capacity (and indeed the desire) of his fellow Little Englanders… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

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