Twitterings

Seeing how many people were so easily duped by @realDonaldTrump and #Brexshit makes me finally realise that all tho… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
One has to wonder what dirt is being held over @theresa_may that forces her to push the rhetoric of moving forward… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@DixiDoodle Just pooped my pants! 🤣🤣🤣
@ANTITRUMPMVMT Poll: 71% of Republicans have been starved of their meds or are already dead.
@StopTrump2020 @realDonaldTrump Easy: "Trump". It's the new, more offensive, c-word (on steroids). Call anyone tha… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
"We misspoke", said The Beatles. "We meant to say Norwegian Wouldn't".
Fuck me. This has to be the most lame yet. Covfefe has been knocked into orbit and straight off the number one spot… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Just as I tried to see if she had a reflection...she turned into a snowflake and melted away. Poor buttercup.… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
When you set your house on fire, realise the cops were watching you start the blaze, then run back in and try to do… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
#Brexshit is like a pratfall of clowns trying to steal a colossal cursed diamond from a magical vault & push it thr… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
If there was anything more disturbing than having the craven vampiric crow, @DLoesch, sit on her perch in the heigh… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Rejecting a #Brexshit 2nd ref "under any circumstances", @theresa_may has (again) painted herself into a right-wing… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Pissed as a Newt Gingrich lays off the moonshine for two minutes before he sinks back into a stupor and starts hump… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
🎶 Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can! 🎶 Although...slight weakness: Has a bit of trouble getting out of the bath.
Here's another: My job in a busy magazine subscriptions department ended in therapy. I had a lot of issues that needed addressing.
Before the world went to shit, I used to write music. I used to write jokes. Here's one: Two nuns in bath. One… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Probably, the most difficult job to hold at the moment is being a foreign translator, having to transpose… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
It was plainly clear that, although @realDonaldTrump was up for doing it without drugs, Putin gave him 15 roofie-la… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@piersmorgan @DailyMail Criticising him for not rinsing his anus as much as you would have liked? You're merely a f… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Fl4nkr @piersmorgan He does an awful lot of scuttling. Not much personality or skill to justify sticking around in any one place.
Poor @piersmorgan. The guy who sucked off the mental grandad of a ticket-tout at Wembley, in order to call himself… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@piersmorgan Bless. The satsuma's little British fellating sycophant is a bit sensitive about his "skills". Precious.
Impotent, festering, boil-boy, Steve Bannon, made a call to arms to the UK gammon folk today. As a preliminary, non… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@piersmorgan We've yet to get to the bottom of what your profession is. Is rancid scrotum a job?
I think, @theresa_may, your mission would be far more effective if you'd put a full stop after the word Brussels, o… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@theresa_may I think your mission would be far more effective if you'd put a full stop after the word Brussels, ope… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I would suggest that, if you want to organise his schedule around the amount of respect that he has from the genera… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Looks like one of @realDonaldTrump's UK anal-ticklers, @piersmorgan, is desperate for some sphincter kissing attent… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
BREAKING: Presidential aides, baffled by @realDonaldTrump's newly-found ability to articulate two-syllable words wi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I'm not too proud to admit that the prospect of tumor-laden camel gonads, such as Roger Stone and @Nigel_Farage, sp… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Nigel_Farage Even your thirteen-toed fan club would probably consider his denture-flobbed words merely nothing mor… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I think I can confidently say, that pretty much everyone in this land will look upon him as merely the third one of… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Dude. You know that guy you really shouldn't be with right now? Yup Seriously. Don't be with him. It's bad. Who?… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Hands down, the funniest tweet I've ever read. You are a comic genius @RudyGiuliani! Brilliant. Well done. twitter.com/rudygiuliani/s…
While the cat's away, the mice will frantically call Bob Mueller and get the DOJ to announce some tangerine-busting… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
As @theresa_may's puppet-masters wrap up their ghastly, drawn-out disposal of their minion, one can't help but hope… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I would like to quickly correct this headline for our American friends, who are worried about being in London over… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
The orange, clown-baby, rapist invades this dying kingdom as it sinks to its knees and suffocates itself in the fas… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
@Nigel_Farage Mate. Russia was kicked out days ago. Oh...sorry...which duplicitous coat are you wearing in this Twe… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
I fear the vibrant, drunken complex of houses and flats I am currently part of has become a catacomb of misery and… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
For all those standing at the station, thinking it was coming home: turns out, it's not. It's staying in the EU.
Every public figure that pushes this openly bullshit rhetoric is blatantly screaming "I was part of the treasonous… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
To be fair, if I (and the rest of the level-headed planet, still with moisture in their mouth, bladder and a capabi… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Amazing headline; but exploring semantics...has anyone ever experienced an apologetic sphincter? #LateNightThoughts vanityfair.com/news/2018/07/t…
Strangely, those most vocal against breastfeeding, are the planet's biggest tits. theguardian.com/us-news/2018/j…
Oh fuck. Is @BorisJohnson going to be @realDonaldTrump's Supreme Court nominee...?
Dear @realDonaldTrump Listen, mate; I've cancelled your trip to the UK coz my peeps are quite pissed about it. Prom… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Brexit is turning out to be the biggest bank robbery of the century; in which not one of the dim-witted, in-bred, E… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Run fields of wheat, If you're gay, Not crappy corn Or fields of hay. Happy Pride, Here's Mrs May's Voting card, W… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Dunno if it's just me...but has anyone else noticed that the UK is being headed by a woman who's voted against ever… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…

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